
October 1st. It may just be another day which you look out of the window in your office impatiently waiting for it to be emptied out at six. This day, however, is of some significance to me. It reminds me that my trivial existence is worthy of celebration. Which suggests that there is something inherently admirable in the process of ageing. It reminds me that I am one step closer to my final destination. It is my birthday.
But why do we celebrate our birthday? Are we supposed to be grateful to be alive? Is life filled with hopes and dreams which are worth our struggle? Unfortunately, the facts confront us with the irrefutable. Our world is threatened by vast tragedy. There is in this world so much injustice, so much hatred, so much fear, and so much envy. Though we continue to live day by day, we are at loss what the meaning of our individual existence is. Nevertheless, every time I wander around in a bookstore and look at the bookshelves which are occupied with self-help books, it is not uncommon to find an author who is encouraging blind-optimism. They construct what seems to be compelling arguments in hope of convincing their readers to affirm life. That all of us can be as successful as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. This leads to the question whether we should celebrate our birthday.
Most of us apparently choose to celebrate birthday because we are all horrified by the idea of death. We are reluctant to admit the fact that birthday also signifies we are approaching to the final destination. Life is supposed to be joyful. We were not born to submit to the philosophy of Schopenhauer. It is better to be optimistic rather than pessimistic. I am often surprised of our capacity to imagine. But imagination is an illusion. It cordons our feeble minds off the realistic world. It deceives us into hoping for a better tomorrow. This optimism wears us down.
It is useless to escape from the irrevocableness of death. In our constant struggle between lightness and weight, we are often in muddle of the thought whether a life of lightness or a life of weight is a better option. Anyone who contemplates the details of life will necessarily be drawn to the nihilistic conclusion. That our life is full of futilities and nothing else. The facts decide which option we ought to take- the unbearable lightness. But in this acceptance of futility, however true, there is a sense of fear which is concentrated upon my individual soul night after night. This feeling torments my immortal soul, leaves me with something which I am unbearable to speak, and strengthens my only wish to liberate it from its mortal coil. In the spectacle of life and death, in the inextricable relationships of men and women, in the never-ending pursuit of our dreams, there is nothing I wish to hold on to. Little wonder the aristocrats and the members of the Royal family commissioned Rembrandt to secure their glorious days by means of portraits. Because they were aware of the fact that their fame, power, and wealth would one day become ashes and dust.
But humans always contradict themselves. We invest our faith in what we are capable of achieving. History tells us that we have produced great art, literature, music, philosophy and science that have changed minds and filled lives. Though we are surrounded by life's absurdities, our inner selves still long for the arrival of beauty to hold on to our hearts. In friendship, in romantic love, in parental affection, in compassion, in the devotion to science and the arts, there is nothing we wish to diminish. They take away all the imperfections and impurities from our souls and attend us to the idea of weight. They flower our lives with meanings and dreams.
After meditating on how we should approach our birthday, it seems difficult to know whether we should celebrate it. But Nietzsche offers us a solution: imagine a life which you live now must be lived by you for infinite times and you would have to repeat every single details in it again and again. What does that tell you? If you are to repeat the same life again and again, you may want to do something which will delight you innumerable times. This thought propels your mind to decide what you should do next. It makes you focus on the present. It urges you to revise your goals and dreams which you always hold on to. If you are at loss what you should do next, it suggests that your life is not as satisfying as it seems. This Nietzschean thought invites us to live our life at its fullest while at the same time pulls us away from the idea of lightness. That a life of little weight may be what we should desire after all.
Life is full of sweetness and bitterness. It may be a cruel fact that the amount of bitterness usually outweighs that of sweetness. But on birthday, we rejoice from the blessings of our friends, of our parents, and of our romantic partners. The contemplation of birthday not only inspires us how we should think about life, it also sheds light on how should enjoy our birthday at its fullest and richest. It keeps us from denying the spectacle of joy life wishes to offer. It keeps us from abandoning our hopes in perfection. It keeps us from thinking ourselves as the centres of the universe. It keeps us away from a morbid sense of loneliness.
W





