On Shopping

For most women, perhaps the easiest way to escape from worries and anxieties is shopping. They never hesitate to abandon the Marxist philosophy, rather than consider shopping a way to encourage capitalism, they derive their emotional satisfactions from worldly possessions instead of an academic discipline called "philosophy". In the modern society where shopping is the major leisure activity, men are no longer immune to this disease. While women are often the victims of fashion, men tend to submit their desires to electronics. However delightful shopping is to both species, this activity is practised quite differently.

When men and women engage in a romantic relationship, the first conflict of interest often arises from shopping. Shopping has to make men unhappy. They easily grow impatient with the customary female curiosity. Rather than just target at the items they previously read in a fashion magazine, most women consider shopping a never-ending adventure, harbouring an excuse for their constant exploration tempted by different window displays. Most men may also be annoyed by the fact that they have to wait outside the dressing rooms laying down aesthetic judgement every time women put new garments on, a process that would only be interrupted by a confused look at their watches. What is followed is the customary ritual of having to take their credit cards out and have them slide through a machine which will chisel a considerable amount of fortune in their bank accounts at the end of each month. What is more embarrassing is the aftermath of the ritual. The role of men in a romantic relationship is easily redefined. Having carried different shopping bags in their hands, along with their usual displays of gentlemanly behaviour and their unwillingness to be slaves, one might wonder how the degree of equality of men and women can be diminished in a such a democratic leisure activity.

If both men and women are prone to shopping, what is it that makes men so unhappy? Why can't men equally inflict the same painful procedure on women? The answer lies not so much in their differing interests, but rather, in their habits of shopping.

Men would exercise the activity of shopping as originally planned. After flipping over pages of magazines, they would carefully select the items they desire and go to the destined locations, without the intention to wander around, to get just what exactly they want. If the shop happens to be out of stock or not carry the item, they may as well just go home disappointed.

Women, on the contrary, consider shopping a process of generating new desires. Though a great many fashion magazines already remind them of how many garments their wardrobes are missing and how they should be ashamed of their own physical candour in comparison to that of models, however miserable these magazines leave them at the absence of thousands of items, they still harbour a belief that behind every shop window, there are always things that go uncover by magazines. Rather than just shop for what they read in magazines, they never only confine themselves within the carefully selected choices. Though a nicely knitted cardigan may have been their original target, they may end up discovering a pair of high heel shoes which are deemed too pity to miss, a dress that is on sale which seems too silly not to buy, or a flask of perfume which its aroma is too hard to resist.

The difference of men and women is probably the former have a weird obsession with planning and the latter fond of surprises. There exists a tendency in human nature a deep love of certainty and a deep-seated fear of novelty. We always anticipate the future as what we wish it to be and neglect the obstacles it may bring to us. However optimistic we wish to be, the reality always offers conclusive evidence of the sad fact that it is always disappointing. A wish for novelty, on the other hand, may cut away all the unhappiness inspired by our undue optimistic anticipation because it prepares for us a mind-set of expecting nothing and happiness is only best enjoyed when it is accidental.

Many have blamed women on their unpredictable behaviours. If they are obsessed with shopping, it is perhaps because they are unsure of who they are or what they want to be. But aren't all of us unsure of who we are? Don't we spend our whole life figuring out who we are? If we are unsure of what we want to be, doesn't it seem too silly to stay fixated on certain principles rather than admit the possibility of new things? While we all deceptively attack consumerism, perhaps, from a female perspective, some wisdoms can be drawn from something as trivial as shopping.

W