Originally published on the Pub which I am one of the contributors:
Driven by pecuniary interests, haste has become a hallmark of virtue while patience would count as a prelude to unproductivity. This culture of haste, unfortunately, has not just effected the world of business, but also integrated with our social life. If haste is considered a norm, it is perhaps because it allows us to get numerous things done in a day, and we may therefore cut away our unnecessary concentration on the minute details which may slow down the process to attain our goals.
If haste has become part of our daily habits, then it is not surprising to see how our romantic life becomes more like a fastfood meal rather than a decent supper at a restaurant. If a man wishes to take a lady out on a date, rather than pleasing her with humours, etiquette, and his intellectual candour, he only offers show off his wealth in front of the lady, while the lady in return harbouring a financial respect, evoking a sense of commercial optimism as well as romantic pessimism. What is worse is that his true aim is not amorous possession, but rather solely physical possession. How easy a sentiment that has been praised in literature, novel, poetry, and films is reduced to a mere mathematical formula. How easy money can savour a woman's body.
If the sole criterion of love is based on how good we perform in bed, it is because sex becomes a legitimate substitution for love. Sex has become an ends rather than a means, just like money has become another substitution for happiness. Traditionally, aside from prostitution, love was thought to go before sex. It was believed that it was not a good idea to engage in sex before the consideration of falling in love. Sex was therefore a supplement to love. That is why the first kiss and the foreplay were important. Because the performers of these acts wished not just to hold and savour the physical realm of the other halves, but also the spiritual realm, in order to make sure that they were sharing the bed with someone who could fathom their souls. However, in the world of twenty first century, where it conspires to kill our power of concentration, the young have become compulsive sex addicts. On the surface, they may all seem willing to risk everything to attain their beloveds, but what lies deep in their hearts is a night in bed generating pleasurable sensation of rubbing their receptors under their skins against each other.
But is sex really our ultimate desire? Are we forever condemned to follow a Darwinian approach to love? But this is an illusion of what we want to attain. The problem of this illusion lies not in the tolerance of easy sex, but rather in failing to entertain the benefits of delay. An easy access to a woman's body is precisely why it is most unlikely to encourage love. At one level, sex may grant us the most pleasurable sensation ever known, but at another level, it may fool us into thinking we have acquired what we truly want. Because the woman is unable to foster doubts in us. What is most attractive about a woman stems not from her submission to the dominance of men, but rather the difficulty of attaining her. If she is not as easy to possess as a prostitute who can be possessed by commercial means, then it suggests that there is something mysterious about her and makes allowance for us to perform a clear-eyed investigation on her.
Upon the interval of desire and gratification, it prompts us to study our beloved on a closer examination. We are allowed to study her tastes for dance and music, her opinions in politics and science, and her characters. Moreover, in the physical realm, we may be able to pay closer to attention to what initially attracts us the most. We could study his facial structures, her indentations, and the curves of her body which may enhance our appreciation and love for her. A prostitute, on the contrary, will sooner or later cease to generate desire in us, because she is always available, ready to reveal her naked truth, and gives us what we want to attain beforehand.
So why do we want sex on a first date? Though physical intimacy may put us in direct contact with the object of desired, it does not guarantee us intimacy of souls. If sex can substitute love and women fail to please us in beds, or vice versa, we may risk laying down judgements falsely on their characters only based on the sexual gratification we have received. We must therefore realise the limits of sexual contact and revise what possession truly means.
W
Driven by pecuniary interests, haste has become a hallmark of virtue while patience would count as a prelude to unproductivity. This culture of haste, unfortunately, has not just effected the world of business, but also integrated with our social life. If haste is considered a norm, it is perhaps because it allows us to get numerous things done in a day, and we may therefore cut away our unnecessary concentration on the minute details which may slow down the process to attain our goals.
If haste has become part of our daily habits, then it is not surprising to see how our romantic life becomes more like a fastfood meal rather than a decent supper at a restaurant. If a man wishes to take a lady out on a date, rather than pleasing her with humours, etiquette, and his intellectual candour, he only offers show off his wealth in front of the lady, while the lady in return harbouring a financial respect, evoking a sense of commercial optimism as well as romantic pessimism. What is worse is that his true aim is not amorous possession, but rather solely physical possession. How easy a sentiment that has been praised in literature, novel, poetry, and films is reduced to a mere mathematical formula. How easy money can savour a woman's body.
If the sole criterion of love is based on how good we perform in bed, it is because sex becomes a legitimate substitution for love. Sex has become an ends rather than a means, just like money has become another substitution for happiness. Traditionally, aside from prostitution, love was thought to go before sex. It was believed that it was not a good idea to engage in sex before the consideration of falling in love. Sex was therefore a supplement to love. That is why the first kiss and the foreplay were important. Because the performers of these acts wished not just to hold and savour the physical realm of the other halves, but also the spiritual realm, in order to make sure that they were sharing the bed with someone who could fathom their souls. However, in the world of twenty first century, where it conspires to kill our power of concentration, the young have become compulsive sex addicts. On the surface, they may all seem willing to risk everything to attain their beloveds, but what lies deep in their hearts is a night in bed generating pleasurable sensation of rubbing their receptors under their skins against each other.
But is sex really our ultimate desire? Are we forever condemned to follow a Darwinian approach to love? But this is an illusion of what we want to attain. The problem of this illusion lies not in the tolerance of easy sex, but rather in failing to entertain the benefits of delay. An easy access to a woman's body is precisely why it is most unlikely to encourage love. At one level, sex may grant us the most pleasurable sensation ever known, but at another level, it may fool us into thinking we have acquired what we truly want. Because the woman is unable to foster doubts in us. What is most attractive about a woman stems not from her submission to the dominance of men, but rather the difficulty of attaining her. If she is not as easy to possess as a prostitute who can be possessed by commercial means, then it suggests that there is something mysterious about her and makes allowance for us to perform a clear-eyed investigation on her.
Upon the interval of desire and gratification, it prompts us to study our beloved on a closer examination. We are allowed to study her tastes for dance and music, her opinions in politics and science, and her characters. Moreover, in the physical realm, we may be able to pay closer to attention to what initially attracts us the most. We could study his facial structures, her indentations, and the curves of her body which may enhance our appreciation and love for her. A prostitute, on the contrary, will sooner or later cease to generate desire in us, because she is always available, ready to reveal her naked truth, and gives us what we want to attain beforehand.
So why do we want sex on a first date? Though physical intimacy may put us in direct contact with the object of desired, it does not guarantee us intimacy of souls. If sex can substitute love and women fail to please us in beds, or vice versa, we may risk laying down judgements falsely on their characters only based on the sexual gratification we have received. We must therefore realise the limits of sexual contact and revise what possession truly means.
W
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i think the deference between animal and a social animal will be count attractive,
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